Roadmap to calm

I just sent a letter to my boyfriend. You know those times where you really just need to outline that this is NOT A BREAKUP?? This, my friends, is one of those times. I suck at talking about my feelings. Like REALLY suck at talking about my feelings. Never know how to go about it, but give me pen and paper (or in this case a touchscreen keyboard) and things come flooding out!

I saw this Twitter post from my fav anxiety queen icon, Kelsey Darragh, whose this amazing boss ass biatch from my guilty pleasure, BuzzFeed.

So, I took her idea and began typing my little heart out. At first, I was going to use it as a tool to start a conversation…I chickened out. I was also gonna give it to him and run away to avoid conversation…that didn’t work. Instead, I have sent a message (a really long message…) with things that can help me when I’m having an episode.

Usually, I become all but non-communicative during episodes. Lucky for me, he knows some of the signs that’s I’m having an attack. I know, because he tells me the next day he could tell I was having an attack. When it comes to doing anything about it however, he’s quite lost. Not to his fault, he’s never had an attack before, and I’ve never really told him what to do. I mean, when I’m going through those attacks I’m in my own world. I can barely think, let alone communicate rational and cohesive sentences.

So here are a few of the things that were on my list:

Something I thought was pretty damn important

My favourite grounding technique. Mostly because it’s the only one I can actually remember

One of my most important ones

In hospitals and care facilities, or just people that require care, they have a document that outlines how to care for a particular person. Although your partner isn’t your carer, they’re in it with you. If you aren’t telling them what to do to help you, they might as well be shouting at a pile of bricks and hoping it’ll become a house. It’s useless and fairly unhelpful. If you have a partner or friend who doesn’t get it, I highly suggest writing one of these. Personally, I wouldn’t use either me or Kelsey’s as your own, but rather write one out for yourself. Your mental health is different from mine and is different from hers. I mean, sure, some of the techniques may over lap, but you know your own issues better than anyone, and they are unique. Also, it’s fairly calming writing it out. You can make it colorful and awesome, or just write plain text like mine. Write personal messages and inside jokes.

Anyhow, that’s it from me. I need to have a conversation with my other half about this document.

k.thx.byeeee