Now slight disclaimer. A lot of what I’m about to write in this post has shook some of my closest friends to the core. If you need help or to get out of an unsafe situation you need to tell someone. I’m not an example to follow by.
So I moved out of a really nice place, convinient to work and University as well as a shopping mall and my boyfriend. The official story as to why I moved out was to help out a mate. Which is true. He needed a housemate to cover the costs of this house so he wouldn’t have to pay double rent alone. But the truth is he did me a huge favour and got me out of one of the most terrifyingly unsafe situations of my life.
So in September 2017, I moved into an apartment block with a couple aged in their 50’s (I can only assume). This was an amazing situation for me! It was close to work, university and all the public transport I needed. The wife was amazing! She cooked for me the first night I lived there, and the food was great. I had my own bathroom and the rent was pretty damn cheap. To top it all off, my boyfriend lived a short 5 minute walk away from me. Unfortunately, that’s pretty much the only good things about this place.
So at this stage, I’m a uni student, so I’m pretty shitty with my money….or so they can only assume. So on the second week, the man offers me $80 to give him a “massage”. Me being the naive 21 year old I am, assume that that means its a back rub. So I accept. Little did I know, this meant a full head to toe, body massage. This required him to strip naked, lock the door and lay on a massage chair in my room. Now, people may know, I am a carer at an aged care place, thus body parts don’t really bother me, but this was super creepy. At work, I have to clean residents, I have to see said body parts for maybe 2 mins max. The awkward situation I was in was me without gloves, massaging this guy’s crotch whilst he’s making some ‘pleasured’ sound effects. Fair to say I refused to do that again. When I told him this, he pretty much begged me to do it again and that pissed me off. I said no about 10 times and the last time he said ‘oh but you hesitated that time! You were thinking about it!’…at this stage I wanted to punch him then leave, but I didn’t. No. I didn’t, my thoughts were ‘are you fucking kidding me right now? You can’t be serious’. He left the alone after that…sorta. I wish that was the last incident.
There are a few occasions where I like wearing shorts, and showing off my legs. Look, I know that I have a nice butt, but I don’t need anyone to tell me that, aside from my boyfriend. I, ESPECIALLY, don’t need a mid 50 year old man to tell me this. But no. I got comments such as ‘wow wow wow, you have a nice butt’ or ‘why don’t you wear shorts around the house anymore? you look sexy in then’. The annoying thing is that he thought they were appropriate comments. Even when I would physically move away from him, he would continue. The same comments were made on my boobs.
One incident, we were talking about the fact I need to close my windows and these comments about my boobs were made. I had a t-shirt on, but no bra, and I was feeling particularly uncomfortable, so I crossed my arms over my boobs and very hesitantly went thanks. I think that’s a pretty clear indication of ‘please get out, I feel very uncomfortable right now’. Instead, he came over and went ‘dont be silly’ and forcibly dragged my arms apart. A few minutes after he left, he knocked on my door and let himself in, and gave me the shortest pair of jean shorts I have ever seen, and told me to have them. I rejected and he pretty much threw them at me. After he left that time I locked the door and cried because I was traumatized. I threw the shorts in the bin.
To top it all off, on the last night, we were talking about how to get the bond back to me. We got it sorted and he asked for a hug as it would be the last night. I thought ‘okay. I’m good with hugs’. I hadn’t quite extended my arm properly and he said ‘whats with this one armed bandit?’ and he hugged me properly, then decided it would be appropriate to touch my butt. I jumped back and went nope. To which his response was ‘i was just joking’ like it was a joke.
To top it all off, whilst I was there I got the sex talk and the ‘boys are stupid’ talk, several times in the 4 months I was there. He told me that boys don’t like condoms and they will pull it off during sex without me knowing. Oh believe me. I know, it’s happened before. I took the EC and was fine.. I told him I’m safe and he insisted I wasn’t and basically tried convincing me not to have sex. So… I’m on the pill…and know how to not be stupid and take the EC. The stupid thing about these ‘conversations’ was that, out of all the guys I know and have met, I felt the most unsafe around him. This includes all the guys I’ve talked to on tinder in the past. And he was giving me a lecture on how I need to be safe around guys.
Thinking back on it, I really want to punch him, but I know that will never happen.
Now you may be wondering ‘Lina, why didn’t you fight back or report this?’ well, if anyone has ever experienced a traumatic event of any sort, there’s those times where you kinda just freeze and are at a loss as to what to do…that happened. As for reporting them. I wanted my bond back. If I left on bad terms I would never see that money. I didn’t sign a lease so there is no evidence that he owes me that money. So if I sucked it up and left on good terms I’d get everything I deserved. Also I’m the biggest wuss around and very rarely stand up for myself.
Anyhow, I’m safe now and living with my friend and know that I’m now safe.
To everyone I told whilst all this was going on, thank you. You guys helped me through in ways that you will never understand. And to my gorgeous boyfriend, thank you for offering me sanctuary and letting me stay over so often. You’re amazing.
That’s it for now. I need to get unpacking properly so that’s it.
K.thnx.bye
Crescendos and Decrescendos 