As a part of one of my units for university, I have the opportunity to do a placement with a health service. I found and was accepted to a placement with a mental health service as a part of their social media team, or so it looks like at least…mind you, I’m guessing that’s not what I’ll be doing exclusively, but the placement looks really fun. SUPER EXCITING STUFF…one problem. In order to have the placement, I need to make a phone call to my supervisor in the company. HA. This isn’t working well in my brain.
So, I know a lot of people have the same problem with trying to make phone calls and just hate phone calls. I am far from an exception, in fact, I hate it so much that am freaking out about it. I have a mini script in my head for what I have to say and how to say it. There’s just something about phone calls that are extremely uncomfortable, which doesn’t really make too much sense considering you can do it somewhere that you’re comfortable and have everything that you need in front of you. Like when I have phone calls, taking or making, I tend to pace back and forth and spin around and stuff. I also imagine that I have some very strange facial expressions whilst making these phone calls.
If you talk to any of my friends or ARE one of my friends, you’d find that I’m very loud, bubbly, and all round sociable creature…confidence is not an issue for me (confidence in myself, complete different story, but that’s a story for another time), yet the second I need to make a phone call, I suddenly have no clue how to talk. Words go out the window, any logic is suddenly gone..and..why did I call again?
I’ve talked about it quite briefly previously in a previous post (Me vs. therapy (desc)), but phone calls have put me off doing so many things including making doctors appointments, psychologist appointments, jobs prospects or even making phone bookings to a restaurant…”Oh…I need to book this place a week in advance via the phone? I’ll just go somewhere else”. I’ve gotten made said appointments eventually…after typing the number in, checking the number, walking away, picking the phone back up, having my finger hover over the call button, rechecking the number, creating a script for the phone conversation, telling a friend about how nervous I am to make a phone call…THEN finally hitting the call button. For people that seriously need help, like I did a while ago..and most likely still now, that phone call means the difference between getting help and continuing the suffer in silence.
I know the fear is so irrational but my brain just decides that it doesn’t want to cope and shuts down instead.
So halfway through this post, I made the phone call….of course, it went to voicemail! I DID NOT PREPARE FOR THIS! That was potentially the most stuttered voicemail I’ve ever made. I hate voice calls. The good thing is they HAVE to accept me, its a part of my unit and I’ve already been accepted, thus they have to call me back, right? I don’t know. I’m gonna continue on with my day and wait by the phone for a reply.
have a good one folks